Worst Jokes Ever
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
What do gasses and asses have in common? They both have asses in them!
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
HOLY CRAP!!!
Crap with holes in it.
Get it? HOLE - Y?
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister.
Daughter: But I don't have a sister.
Dad: Exactly.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.