What's the difference between you and your mom?
I slept with your mom.
What's the difference between you and your mom?
I slept with your mom.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
What's the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet.
Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."
Why is Job good at Minecraft? Because he is noob, noob, noob, noob, noob. NOOB!
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?
They both cheated!
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.