When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
Hey guys, it's an alien!
I only trust people that like big butts... they cannot lie.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
Up your pp with a piece of crap!
This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make him clap until his parents come back.
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀
There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.
One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"
"Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.
"I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.
"Are you mad?" The police asked.
"Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.
"Where's your brain?" Asked the police.
"At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?