Yo forehead so big, NASA needed it for the new planet, stupid!
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?
Little Johnny fucked a girl, ran away, fucked another, ran, went to the strip club, got a private dance, he has sex with them, fucking ran, yelled to some random bitch ass guy, "Fuck him, he's a bitch." He bends down, they have sex on the street, they go home, have sex, little Johnny wakes up, questions himself, fucking does it again. He goes to the strip club, fucks some more people, when he is drunk, questions himself some more, then tries phone sex, but his dick is too small.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
Watersharky, do you hate me?????
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
Me starts a cult just for fun... Just for fun!
Quote for the day.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
John, I like your cut, G.
Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.
What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.
I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
