Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
penis balls cum <3
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Knock, knock.
Your mom.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.