Worst Jokes Ever

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?

Why do orphans love chips?

Because they're all family sized.

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

The "w" in Africa is for water.

Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?

There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...

The parents aren’t home.

Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.

Were you born on the highway? 'Cause that's where most accidents happen.

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

A: Because they have the balls to.

Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?

I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!