Worst Jokes Ever
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
You people who look at this sight, shame on you, fucking idiots!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
How is everyone? I just started school. Sixth grade, yeah!
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have nobody to call daddy.
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.