Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."

Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

You pecan do it!

Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

A friend asked what an acorn is.

I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”

I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!

I want an almond-flavored biscuit.

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.

Can I ask you a question? Nut now!

Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?

The peanut butler.

How do you catch an elephant?

Act like a peanut.

What do you call super expensive shoes?

Cashews.