Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
What’s worse than three babies in one garbage can?
One baby in three garbage cans.
"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.
Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."
Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."