Worst Jokes Ever
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
What did the plate say to the other plate?
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
The "p" in Africa stands for peace.
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.