Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.

Brazil is a joke.

America and UK are a joke.

Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.

I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

Why are astronauts forgetful?

They're always spacing out.

Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.

Me: What? Am I dying?

Doctor: No, your wife is.

My peepee was big, now it's small.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?

Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?

I don’t microwave forks.

Charger: Yo, Phone.

Phone: Yeah?

Charger: Can I plug all in you?

Phone: Ayooo!

My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.