Worst Jokes Ever
What did Little Johnny say to his dad?
Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Joe mama so fat, hello kitty said goodbye.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Why is 8 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9. If you think it doesn't make sense, then it is "7 ate 9."
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Why are dead baby jokes always funny?
They never get old.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.