Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Worst Jokes Ever
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father!"
Why don’t orphans have parents?
'Cause they were abandoned.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.
What's an orphan's most hated show?
The Fosters.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.
Don’t cut yourself up about it.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"
Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.
Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!
"You is so black your mama fainted."
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.
How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?
Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.
