Worst Jokes Ever

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.

You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.

Are there support groups for men?

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

Guys, can you like my jokes, please?

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?

Because they don't have homes.

I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.

Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!