Worst Jokes Ever
"Bippity Boppity, women are not property."
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
They said that new Juice WRLD album was shakin' good....
Nutty.
Player 138 eliminated...
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they have no home.
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*