Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.
Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
penis balls cum <3
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?
