Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Knock, knock.
Your mom.
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive!"
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
