Worst Jokes Ever

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!

The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can be loved.

How do two emo kids greet each other?

"I like ya cut, G."

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

How do you enter your house?

Through Bill Gates!

What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?

A snake has a home to go to underground.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

when is it normal to freeze before being raped?

when a policeman rapes you.

What do you call a cleaning skeleton?

The Grim Sweeper.

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

What does a lesbian bring on the second date?

A U-Haul.

Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"