Worst Jokes Ever
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Why is Daisy afraid of candles?
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Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
A B C D E F GUN.
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
Dick butt.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Why do gays get bad grades?
They don't get straight A's.