Worst Jokes Ever

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.

Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.

Why do orphans love chips?

Because they're all family sized.

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

The "w" in Africa is for water.

Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?

There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...

The parents aren’t home.

Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.

Were you born on the highway? 'Cause that's where most accidents happen.

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

A: Because they have the balls to.

Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?

I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An "Donald Trumpet"!

Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?

A: Rainbow Six Siege.

Why can't you run through a campground?

Because it's "past tents!"

Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”