Worst Jokes Ever

Your mom is a joke.

Why can't orphans play paintball?

Because they don't have parent supervision.

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."

The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!

The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."

Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?

Because he was a cheetah!

Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.

Why did the cheetah go to school?

To be a cheetah.

What is the second hardest thing in the morning?

Getting up.

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...

Why can't orphans go to Costco?

Because it's a family shop.

When you are in the legendary chest in Fortnite and no golden scar rage.

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"