What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
Worst Jokes Ever
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it always comes back.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
