Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."

Vortex: "You'll do what?"

Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"

*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*

Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."

Why did the NBA remove the glory hole from the men's locker room?

Too many black basketball players sucking too many white cocks before the game.

Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?

Tax credit.

Teacher: Anyone missing?

Orphan: My parents.

Teacher: Something that is real, kid.

Orphan: My family.

Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?

Kid 2: Why?

Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.

What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.