Worst Jokes Ever

What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰

What is a skeleton’s favorite singer?

Pelvis Presley.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

Why did God create sex for marriage?

Because he wanted more people and less fun.

Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!

What do you call a gay Megalodon?

Magalogay.

Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.

She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.

The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,

"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

I did ap.

I did ap who? (I did a poo)

EEWW you did a poo???

"Stop bullying me!"

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

What do you call the whole population turning into emos?

The Great Depression.

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.

Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?

Hot Wheels.

The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.