Worst Jokes Ever
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.