Worst Jokes Ever

I'm bald.

Your hairline is more bent than your gender.

I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!

I ate Nemo.

Say "I cup" but in words.

Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"

What is the difference between a priest and a zit?

The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

I remarked, "You lazy!"

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.

When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.

When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they couldn't run home.

What happens to Emos when they go up?

They never come down.

What can't you say to an emo?

Hang in there, buddy!

Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?

They'll say "yea."