Worst Jokes Ever
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
What is "moo becanira?"
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
If a girl says no twice 🤔.
Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
Joe mama is Joe mama (your mother) LMAO!
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?
They all ate each other.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?