Is George gay...? Stephen Hawking approves.
Worst Jokes Ever
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why was the orphan so famous?
Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What is big, round, and gassy? Uranus.
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
Russia—the real joke.
I love my mom.
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
