Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Worst Jokes Ever
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
Is a selfie of an orphan a self-portrait or family photo?
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama so fat, when she went into an elevator, she had to go down.
NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.
