Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Gay.
Gay who?
You're gay.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because when he was told "go big or go home," he only had one option.
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.
His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
I love Mekhi!
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
Your hairline is so big even Dora the Explorer can't explore it!