Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What's it called when an orphan calls 911?

Operator: Hello, is your family okay?

Orphan: I'm an orphan.

Operator: *bruh*

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?

To take care of his erectile dysfunction.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.