Worst Jokes Ever

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

Little Johnny is such a woos.

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!

If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.

Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it?

And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?

I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home base is.

Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!

What do you call a missing Indian woman?

I'll really mist ya.

I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.

I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

What is the difference between Putin and an onion?

Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.

Lucky they're only balls, not real balls!

Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.

How do people get skinny?

Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)

What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?

Suicide squad.