"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
Your Nan is dead.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
Why can’t the orphan tell on people?
Because they got no mom and dad! LOLLL
I'm emo, by the way.
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
What thing can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
