Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
Why did Hitler kill himself? Because the air was gas.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
That was a really crappy bun!
I should just flush this joke away.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Family Dollar store.
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Abortion is beautiful.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.