Worst Jokes Ever
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Why did the bus cross the road?
POV: Her name is Alli.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.