Worst Jokes Ever
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, โThis isnโt working.โ
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and itโs working fine? Anyone know what he means?
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you canโt say you werenโt warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.
For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.
Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.
For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?
Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.
Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.
For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.
So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.