Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. Weโd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
How do you know youโre ugly? If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said "Why are there so many people under me?"
I was outside digging a six foot hole, when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing Pin the tail on the donkey? Her friends arenโt sure whether to blindfold her.
What do you Call AG? A beta male
Knock, knock. (Whoโs there?) 9/11. (9/11 who?) [pause] You said youโd never forget.
Whatโs worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
LYNXXXXXXX
Why are Americans so bad at clash royal?
They already lost two towers
My only friend who actually cares: Stop making suicide jokes, Iโm really concerned!
Me: Okay Iโll cut it out.
Grandma: most people your age, have a family and are married. Why arenโt you?
Grandchild: most your age are dead. Why arenโt you?
kid: #1: You're adopted. kid#2: At least they wanted me. kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
I'm as straight as a rainbow
regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist
Me: I'm depressed so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
Nothing, planes can't talk
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something
