Worst Jokes Ever
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.