Worst Jokes Ever
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one dog... yeah, it was a shih tzu.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
Like and comment if you will be my friend!
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
Me, haha, I'm the joke.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
Like, and comment if you're single.
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
*moans*
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!