Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
A kid called Chris:
:orphan
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.