Worst Jokes Ever
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!