Worst Jokes Ever
What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?
Mentos.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Yo momma!
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.