Worst Jokes Ever

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Abortion is beautiful.

Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.

Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What's that Pokemon that evolves into macargo?

Slugma.

Slugma dick.

What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?

"Under the Sea!" (The Little Mermaid)

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?

"Sum Ting Wong."

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

Because they have already lost their towers.

What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Your hairline is so far back even The Rock Johnson couldn't find it.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."