Worst Jokes Ever
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Someone on here said it previously:
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?
iPhones have a home button.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
What kind of pizza did the twin towers order?
Two large plains.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.