9 jokes

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!

Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.

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  • I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

    And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

    It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

    Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."

    Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"

    Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."