Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
AI - AI - Rabo several projects:
Decker: “No Hebingingennanorin and Chirver.”
Alx: “Madam Bob Lee Hubn Vera 20”
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
