Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
One day, a girl was showering with her mom, she pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)". The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied:" In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies,”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says,”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says,”alright last chance. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “haha! I got you now!” But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,”He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
20 likes for Part 2!
why is 4/20 such an epic date?
because It's weed day, columbine, AND hitler's birthday ;)
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red.. me falling from a 20 story building
ya make 10 paintings, you arent an artist ya make 20 meals, you arent a chef but when i kill ONE PERSON, im a "horrible person" and a "menace to society"
yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men but they think there's only one side of her ;v; I tried making one of my own
I like my women like a day. 20 four year olds. 24 hours of fun
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon
Technobable's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above)
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
Q-Who’s the fastest readers in the world? A-the 911 victims, they when through 20 stories in seconds
Hey any riding with biden fans out their? I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so of one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 an a half help me please
Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT", she thought it's a food court, and order 20 big macs and got a heart attack
I seen your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing. Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
so little johnny seen a robbery so he tried to stop the robber to the robbers surprise he was amazed so johnny got 20 shots to the head the end
