20 Jokes

Batman: I’m vengeance

Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad

Batman: ...

Dad: Son it’s been 20 years, please let go

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?" "No, it's 26." "Oh I forgot u r a q t" "Your missing one more" "I'll give you the d later" "....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

McNeill mom wrote a shopping list for supper ... cabbage _50 Carrots-50 Cooking fat -100 Onions_20 Tomato-20 salt-10 Total=250 she gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients. McNeill took long to return home from the shopping ... His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long . McNeill answered I have all the ingredients but I'm looking for total

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?” Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported

The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

If you have 20 apples and you ate 2 how many you have left? 0 because you have 20 and and take away 2 you have 0 left.

A man with 20 dolars walked into Dave & Busters. He went to the bathrom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.

when you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands. 20 minutes later them slapping you with the belt.

Canada has free heath-care, here is a link to some Canada Facts!https://www.1stcontact.com/blog/20-interesting-facts-about-canada

One man said"do you need 20 bucks"

The other said"do you have that many"

20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay moving on you took to long, how many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge (*Their reply* Idk how many) 3, Open the fridge put the elephant into the fridge and close the door. how do you put a giraffe into the fridge (*Their reply* 3...) Wrong 4, Open the fridge take out the elephant put in the giraffe and close the door, why did sully fall off the swing, A fridge fell on her

Little Johnny got told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say : I know the truth they give you money so little Johnny says to his mum I know the truth so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone so when little Johnny’s dad gets home little Johnny says I know the truth his dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone so little Johnny try’s it on the post man and says I know the truth and the post man says come here son

What do you call a pillow that been on the bed for 20 years in jail A criminal 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

There was a doctors room filled with 20 women 4 kids 15 men and 1dog However there were forty foreheads. How is this possible.(they will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads)

Because there are 40 foreheads not 44 heads

There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because these jokes are not funny

Heres why the chicken crossed the road...

The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road.The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening, and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road, and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit was full of the chicken nonsense, and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.

The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal, and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.

The End (hope you enjoyed, i was bored so i made this shit...)