Yo mama so fat the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone no
bob has no arms knock knock, whos there, its not bob.
This is a joke. laugh now or else.
I am the Lorax I speak for trees I have the high ground and I will cut off your knees
People ask me, are you an organ donor?
"Yeah, over my dead body."
Room u on
used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask.....
Yet here i am, stuck at home in this covid19 Thriller, Beating it.....
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
as i grow older, i remember all the people i lost along the way. maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis the priest is in jail now.
my girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. fair enough. i gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
i went to see my dentist and she warned me it was going to hurt. then she told me she was having an affair with my husband. good news though...the cleaning didnt hurt.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims Because they've already been roasted
You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
why was the orphan so sucsessful? when the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(
why do cemeterys have fences bc people are dying to be there
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
i'll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket: "hey, look how far i can kick this bucket!!"
my husband left a note on the fridge that said, “this isn’t working.” im not sure what hes talking about. i opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? anyone know what he means?
