my husband is mad that i have no sense of direction. so i packed up my stuff and right.
Yo mama such a slut she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant
my boss told me i have a preoccupation with vengeance...we'll see about that
feeling stressed? have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage
So you start singing it’s the best day ever
I wrote a book called Endless Love
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller
How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown
But the punch line is too long
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white
Innocent
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF" How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW"
Haha boob
You look like your mom and your dad had a child
in what city do you always loose your mum Mumbai
Once a man goes to a restaurant.then, he was waiting until the waitress comes & tells him that they don't have food. he was grumpy but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped then she say to him:"good meal".
why cant there be a gay disabled person? because a fruit cant be the same as a vegetable
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player showers.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
