Worst Jokes Ever
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."