Worst Jokes Ever
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.