Worst Jokes Ever
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?
A: The X-Men.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.