Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Me: I been up all night, no sleep--

The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.

Me: stfu! I’m just singing!

Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!

Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!

Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......

The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.

Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?

A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.