Zoo jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)
I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?