Yours jokes

Bus Driver

  • I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

    I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

  • 1
  • Town

  • Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees. Even got her name on 'em. I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back. Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em. Up and down the boulevard. In and out of every bar. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer. The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year. It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights. Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house.

  • 0
  • Hide-and-seek

  • Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

    Seek and Hide: Me.

    Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.

    Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?

    Figure: Because your name is in seeker.

    Funeral

  • Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

    Parent

  • What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

    Nothing. They are both just memories.

  • 3
  • Genie

  • A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"

    Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."

    Genie: Poof!

    Tom: It didn't work.

  • 3
  • Boy

  • The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"

    The Son: "Because milk is important."

    The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"

    The Boy: "Who?"

    The Man: "Your mom?"

    The Boy: "I don't have a mom."

    The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."

    The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.

  • 0