Yours jokes
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
Your forehead is so big we could fit the whole alphabet on there.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
Me: Can I borrow your CD?
Friend: What CD?
Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.
I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.
Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!
Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.
At the end of the day, it's night.
Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
What kind of tree fits in your hands?
Ooh! I know a joke!
(Papyrus) What is it?
(Sans) Knock knock!
(Papyrus) Uh... who's there?
(Sans) Sans
(Papyrus) Sans who?
(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!
(Papyrus)