Yours jokes
You're so fat, that you're fat.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
My d*ck is hard, what's your name?
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
You're so skinny that you fall.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."