Yours jokes

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

Ah (gas, gas, gas) Ah Do you like my car? Guess you're ready 'cause I'm waiting for you. It's gonna be so exciting. Got this feeling really deep in my soul. Let's get out, I wanna go, come along, get it on. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive along 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Don't be lazy 'cause I'm burning for you. It's like a hot sensation. Got this power that is taking me out. Yes, I've got a crush on you, ready, now, ready, go. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive alone 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Gonna take my car, do you like my car? 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Gas, gas, gas, Yeah, yeah, yeah Gas, gas, gas, And you'll see the big show. Ah

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working in an orphanage!

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

How to tell your kid he's adopted:

Son, I'm a virgin.

Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.

Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?

You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

Llama: What's your damn problem?

Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?

I'm sorry for your loss.

It is going tibia okay.

Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.

I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.

Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.